Say “No” to Naysayers: A PSA

I was fortunate enough (and supremely honored) to be contacted by Siobhan of siobhansmirror to contribute to this month’s upcoming tarotscopes. Deck in hand, I channeled the messages for Cancer, hoping that the cards would reveal a transition from the rampant violence and intolerance of this past month. Surely, I thought, there must be some respite from the storm. 

As ever, the cards presented themselves exactly as they desired. I wrote from both the heart and the mind and found precisely the words I needed. When I finish a reading, I send it into the cosmos and ground myself much like the witch when she releases a spell. A theme, however, has remained, and I feel moved to address it here.

When I was a budding teenager, I felt compelled to become an anthropologist. Cultures and histories fascinated me, and traveling back to follow the breadcrumbs of human evolution was a thrilling prospect. I openly shared my ambitions with my family, expecting them to laud my voracity and dauntlessness (I was a teenager, after all). When I told my mother, her face closed in on itself. “I just don’t think that you have what it takes to do that,” she told me.  I was shattered and angry all at once. I was determined not to give her the satisfaction of my tears, so I fought back my emotions and soldiered on. Despite my resolve to ignore my mother’s remarks, they continued to visit me whenever I felt overwhelmed or insecure. What if she’s right? I’d think. Maybe she sees something in me that I don’t. Maybe I’m simply not up to the task.

When I finally confronted her years later, she confessed that she didn’t want me to travel so far from her and that she wanted to keep me safe. I understood her motivations, but I was angry as hell. How dare she discourage me for selfish reasons? What makes her think she has the right?

That conversation acquainted me with a sobering truth–we discourage one another all the time. When someone comes to us bright-eyed and dreamy, we have an in-born compulsion to shoot them down and chain them to solid ground. “Don’t fly too high, Icarus,” we seem to say. But what we mean is even more insidious: “Don’t fly higher than me.” This reaction is certainly born from insecurity and often its motivation is hidden in the shadow of the subconscious. But the fact of the matter remains: if we listen to these disparagements, they can become downright dangerous.  Whether they intend to or not, naysayers water the seed of doubt that each of us harbor. It’s difficult enough to remain confident in our abilities to manifest the life we desire. The last thing we need is fuel to add to the fire.

We can’t prevent discouragement from others. All we can do is choose not to listen to them. Easier said than done, I know. That’s why it’s so important to build a practice self-love. If we manage to do this, we may be able to rise above deflating remarks when they’re casually tossed our way. Today, I choose not to discourage you. Follow what’s in your heart with passion and resolve. Shine on, you crazy diamond. Shine, shine, shine, shine, shine.

Love and Light,




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